How Much Does Heartache Cost?

For the next couple of months, people will opt for cuffing or returning to their exes. But, the part that hurts for most of my clients is that the very thing they were trying to avoid-heartache and loneliness-is what inevitably happens. Love is the hardest decision we ever make in life. What other decision takes decades to get right? And at what cost? Is it your sanity? Is it your money that you regret spending? It’s not just money, it’s years of your life. I’ve put together this quick guide to help you save money and years of your life. Let’s do the math together.

Women: Appearance (clothing, shoes, makeup, creams, underwear, grooming, etc) Calculate each application and each purchase for each date.

Men: Appearance (clothing, shoes, creams, underwear, grooming, dry cleaning, etc) Calculate each application and each purchase for each date.

Actual meet up/date costs. This can range from $5 to $100 depending on where you go, what city you live in and what you’re doing. Calculate each date and multiply that by your dating life cycle.

Length of time during break up. Each year of you not being in the market has a cost to your age. Take away those years lost.

Credit: Pixababy

Love takes decades to get right. Factor in 10 years to perfect this decision-making ability.

Women: Take away five years of your reproductive life cycle.

Men: Take away five years to rebuild yourself financially.

Factor in past relationship failures and multiply that by three. On average we don’t break out of patterns and cycles till we are faced with the pattern repeatedly. Generally, three times a charm.

Now factor all of this in over your dating life cycle. What is your total?

7 Things To Help You Cope With a Break-up Or Divorce

Breakup Recovery Guide for Introverts, Ambiverts and Extroverts

When you are getting over a relationship/divorce, thinking that you can be in a better relationship can be challenging. Each relationship we go through really teaches us about what we need or what we needed to overcome to set you up for a healthy relationship. If you’re currently struggling to get over a relationship, I developed this self-inventory about things you can think about to help overcome some of the pain associated with the break-up/divorce. This guide is designed for Introverts, Ambiverts and Extroverts to help you reflect on the past to help you break through to better future relationship outcomes. 

Credit: Samgar Huettner


  1. Think about the things that lead you to that relationship in the first place.
  2. Think about the things that attracted you to the person.
  3. Think about what you were looking for before you got into the relationship.
  4. Think about the fears you may have had before you got into the relationship.
  5. Think about the things you felt before you got into the relationship.
  6. What did the person make you feel about yourself?
  7. What did they respond to within you?

Once you have identified the reasons for some of these questions, you’ll have the answers to help propel you to the next relationship. Sometimes, we keep carrying unnecessary burdens into new relationships. You possess the answers to all that you are feeling; you just have to look at the situation from a different angle. The answers are all within you. You can harm or heal yourself. Returning to the point of who you were before the relationship; puts you in a place of empowerment rather than psychological persecution.  It’s within understanding the unhealthy relationships that we find ourselves and gets us closer to a healthy relationship.

The Science of Happiness: Your Happiness Hypothesis Method.

The Science of Happiness: Your Happiness Hypothesis Method.


Happiness is both a state of being and a condition you can create. Did you know that 40% of your happiness is determined by your thoughts, behaviors and actions? Only 10% is determined by circumstances you deal with in life. How you react to circumstances is what creates happiness. Your emotional default mode can be positive or negative, but that determines your outlook and how you’ll react to your life circumstances.

Happiness has a neurochemical process that can be used to create that state as part of how you approach life. Endorphin and serotonin levels are the two receptors responsible for regulating mood and happiness. The best ways to enhance these levels are by making it a practice to consciously focusing on positive outcomes.

Focus on the optimal rather than the suboptimal.

By examining our own logic and making it daily practice to use positive thinking, it rewrites our chemistry and our ability to create happiness as your emotional default mode. Finding love is the hardest decision we ever make in life. It’s one of the only decisions that takes decades to get right. What makes it take that long is our own faulty logic in who we choose and what we think we want versus need.

I designed the Your Happiness Hypothesis method based on cognitive re-shifting techniques to improve people’s outlook of themselves and their outcomes. Your Happiness Hypothesis helps you have relationship success in your life in a few weeks. Currently, I only offer the service in three targeted areas:

Finding The Right One

Whether you tired of online dating, burnt out, or sick of finding suboptimal partners, The Finding the Right One program is designed to help you find the relationship you deserve. Using a unique method I developed, Your Happiness Hypothesis, we will help you narrow down on what you want versus what you need and provide you with strategies that gets you dating optimally. This approach is rooted in self-awareness and challenges many of the traditional rules you’ve learned and applied. Together, we disrupt these rules with my simple steps and create a unique approach that saves you heartache, frustration and time.

Breakup Recovery

The Breakup Recovery program is a program designed to help you heal from the breakup and find the relationship you deserve.  In this program, we explore your dating patterns, review your relationship history, provide you with an action plan that helps you heal with dignity and avoid repeating patterns that hurt you in the past. This approach is intense with many of my clients report having breakthroughs in 24 hours.

Dating Challenges-Bad Partner Behavior

Are you sick of being ghosted, breadcrumbed, benched or other ridiculous bad partner behavior? Using a unique method I developed, Your Happiness Hypothesis, we will help you recognize other people’s suboptimal patterns, develop strategies that help you avoid these patterns, and create an action plan to help you find the relationship you deserve. This approach is designed to help you detect someone else’s bs 100% of the time and prevent it in the future.

Are you interested in creating Your Happiness Hypothesis in your life?

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Love is the hardest decision we ever make in life. What other decision takes decades to get right?

Finding love is the hardest decision we ever make in life. What other decision takes decades to get right?

“Isn’t it ironic that our highly connected world makes it harder to be connected?” This is probably the #1 complaint I hear in practice. We are trying to find love, get over a break-up or understand why we get ghosted in a world that seems to have so much abundance. Yet, so many tell me they are lonely and want to find just one decent person.

The main reason is simple, but love is complex. It is the hardest decision we ever make in life. What other decision takes decades to get right? Dating apps are creating a paradox effect. They are giving off the illusion of many choices while making it harder to find viable options. Apps have become the new bar, but sometimes we unknowingly walk into a frat party; a drunk feast; 2 a.m. stragglers; or a concubine expecting to find decent people. This is not just disempowering, it erodes your self-esteem and alters your decision-making ability. The end result is not making you pickier, it’s making you choose based on lowered expectations.

We’re treating people like we do our social media streams. The shiniest object is what we stop at, then move onto the next shiny object. Are we creating a false reality? What is it doing to our sense of self? Are we becoming more narcissistic? Are we becoming more insecure? Has this behavior become normative? Is technology driving dating, sex and emotion? Are dating patterns just an extension of how we behave on social networks? We’re overlooking good candidates for those that photo filter better. You aren’t in the market for best camera skills, you’re searching for someone that can life co-create with you.

For the past few years, I’ve been developing a new method to address some of these challenges. My Your Happiness Hypothesis method © is designed to help you have relationship success in your life. Relationships are challenging, but sometimes it just takes simple strategies to get you what you really want! Are you wondering when you will find the love of your life? Struggling to find decent people? Want real love? Join me in creating Your Happiness Hypothesis in your own life!