How Much Does Heartache Cost?

Posted on October 29, 2018November 3, 2018 by ClarissaSilva

For the next couple of months, people will opt for cuffing or returning to their exes. But, the part that hurts for most of my clients is that the very thing they were trying to avoid-heartache and loneliness-is what inevitably happens. Love is the hardest decision we ever make in life. What other decision takes decades to get right? And at what cost? Is it your sanity? Is it your money that you regret spending? It’s not just money, it’s years of your life. I’ve put together this quick guide to help you save money and years of your life. Let’s do the math together.

Women: Appearance (clothing, shoes, makeup, creams, underwear, grooming, etc) Calculate each application and each purchase for each date.

Men: Appearance (clothing, shoes, creams, underwear, grooming, dry cleaning, etc) Calculate each application and each purchase for each date.

Actual meet up/date costs. This can range from $5 to $100 depending on where you go, what city you live in and what you’re doing. Calculate each date and multiply that by your dating life cycle.

Length of time during break up. Each year of you not being in the market has a cost to your age. Take away those years lost.

Love takes decades to get right. Factor in 10 years to perfect this decision-making ability.

Women: Take away five years of your reproductive life cycle.

Men: Take away five years to rebuild yourself financially.

Factor in past relationship failures and multiply that by three. On average we don’t break out of patterns and cycles till we are faced with the pattern repeatedly. Generally, three times a charm.

Now factor all of this in over your dating life cycle. What is your total?

7 Things To Help You Cope With a Break-up Or Divorce

Posted on October 18, 2018October 18, 2018 by ClarissaSilva

Breakup Recovery Guide for Introverts, Ambiverts and Extroverts

When you are getting over a relationship/divorce, thinking that you can be in a better relationship can be challenging. Each relationship we go through really teaches us about what we need or what we needed to overcome to set you up for a healthy relationship. If you’re currently struggling to get over a relationship, I developed this self-inventory about things you can think about to help overcome some of the pain associated with the break-up/divorce. This guide is designed for Introverts, Ambiverts and Extroverts to help you reflect on the past to help you break through to better future relationship outcomes.

Think about the things that lead you to that relationship in the first place.
Think about the things that attracted you to the person.
Think about what you were looking for before you got into the relationship.
Think about the fears you may have had before you got into the relationship.
Think about the things you felt before you got into the relationship.
What did the person make you feel about yourself?
What did they respond to within you?

Once you have identified the reasons for some of these questions, you’ll have the answers to help propel you to the next relationship. Sometimes, we keep carrying unnecessary burdens into new relationships. You possess the answers to all that you are feeling; you just have to look at the situation from a different angle. The answers are all within you. You can harm or heal yourself. Returning to the point of who you were before the relationship; puts you in a place of empowerment rather than psychological persecution. It’s within understanding the unhealthy relationships that we find ourselves and gets us closer to a healthy relationship.